Leading Blog: A Leadership Blog http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/ Leading Blog encourages people to lead from where they are. We highlight issues of interest to leaders and have links to sources of information in the web. en Copyright 2013 Mon, 13 May 2013 00:09:50 -0800 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/?v=3.2 http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss The First Step in Self-Awareness Isn’t You - Redux
Self-leadership is fundamental to good leadership, but it is not the end-game.

Self-awareness for self-awareness sake has a limited value.

Through introspection and reflection we can get to know a great deal about ourselves—as far as we know. The problem is that we don't know what we don't know. Only when we are able to test our assumptions about ourselves, can we know if we are getting it right. It is when we see ourselves in relation to others and in relation to a higher purpose that we really begin to clarify (and many times even identify) our core values, beliefs and intentions. We can all know who we think we are, but it isn't until we get out and interact with others that we can begin to see where we are right and where we have been fooling ourselves.

Who we are takes on meaning when it is in the context of our relationship with others. Superman's stance on "truth, justice and the American Way" is pointless if he remains isolated in his Fortress of Solitude. His values only have meaning in relationship to other people. All the self-knowledge in the world counts for very little if it is not put to work in the service of others.

Self-awareness that points to your unique contribution in the world is leadership. Who you are is leveraged when it is placed in the service of other people. Surely we must lead with integrity—in a manner consistent with who we are. However, the only way to know if we are really doing that is by looking at how we impact the lives of others—how our leadership is experienced by others.

Self-awareness provides the opportunity for us to close the gap between who we think we are or want to be and who we actually are at a particular point in time. But that can only be achieved with feedback of some kind. I want to share a lengthy story provided by Scott Weiss in his great book DARE, to illustrate this point. It's a book about trust in leadership and the trust that is generated by knowing who you are and leading as that person.
At thirty-five, I was already an executive vice president with Turner Broadcasting, overseeing two divisions and reporting directly to the second most senior executive who soon would be named the company's CEO. I believed that I was very much at the top of my game, already delivering a lot of high-level presentations, and getting consistent positive feedback. I was more than a little offended by the suggestion that I needed any help at all with my communication skills. But I went.

In Atlanta, I participated in Speakeasy's exclusive, invitation-only workshop for C-suite executives. Called "The Leader's Edge," this intense three-day workshop focused on communication style and delivery with respect to leadership. In spite of my initial resistance, I did my best to participate without revealing my conviction that I felt superior to this target audience that needed help with communication and presentation skills. I wasn't the least bit nervous when it came time to watch the video recordings of our individual presentations. I was sure I'd done just fine.

With the others in our group, I watched as the executive persona of Scott Weiss delivered his speech from the screen. The guy up there looked pretty good. Very sure of himself. Very corporate. Very buttoned up. I expected to be told, as I always had been before, that I was a very effective presenter. But after a moment, Sandy Linver, the faculty leader who had directed our session turned to ask me a question.

"So," she said, "as you look at yourself, objectively, how do you perceive this person?"

"Fine," I said. "He seems knowledgeable. Experienced. Very confident."

"Hmm," she said. "That's interesting. If you could separate yourself from this person and experience him objectively, would you want to hang out with a person like that on the weekend?"

It was a strange question. But I looked at that person frozen on the TV monitor and thought about it. Reluctantly, I had to tell the truth.

"No," I said. "Probably not."

"Really?" she asked. "And why not?"

"Well," I said, "because I don't hang out with people like that."

I'm not sure whether there was a collective gasp from the audience or just a stunned silence, but what she said next definitely stunned me.

"You know, don't you, that you're talking about yourself?"

Yes. I was. I had just admitted that the person I was projecting was not someone to whom I could relate. He wasn't even someone I really liked!

And apparently, I wasn't the only one to be put off by Scott Weiss's executive persona. In our remaining time together, other members of the audience began to offer more specific impressions of how they had experienced me as a communicator, and as a person.

Arrogant.
Cocky.
Superior.
Disconnected.
Not real.

Those were just some of the terms they used. I had never heard myself described this way before. I felt like the emperor with no clothes.

I had not gone to Speakeasy for a consciousness-raising experience. But I sure had one. In the weeks following that close and uncomfortable encounter with my own executive persona, I did a lot of thinking. I examined what I had learned about how others actually did experience me, and thought about how I wanted people to experience me. There was a gaping abyss between those two extremes, and I realized that I had a lot of work to do to bring them closer together—to become more congruent as an individual and as a leader. I needed to find my authentic self and learn how to bring more of my real personality to my vocation.
I appreciate Scott Weiss sharing this story, for it's not just a process all growth oriented leaders must go through, but a process we must seek out continuously.

Feedback is a process that, if we allow it, will keep us honest with ourselves. We see things as we are; and we see ourselves through our intentions. Feedback gives us a reality check that we are free to accept or reject, but without it we have no way to combat our own self-deception.

We must be able to experience ourselves in relation to other people if we are to have a genuine understanding of who we are and why we do what we do.

So the place to begin if we truly want to know ourselves is to reflect on the impact that we have on others. Only then can we lead authentically knowing that our inner being is congruent with our outer behavior.
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Of Related Interest:
  The First Step in Self-Awareness Isn’t You

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/the_first_step_in_selfawarenes_1.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/the_first_step_in_selfawarenes_1.html Personal Development Mon, 13 May 2013 00:09:50 -0800 The First Step in Self-Awareness Isn’t You
Self-awareness is vital to the development of a leader. But it's not navel-gazing. It is not an inward focus. It is an outward focus. Its ultimate goal is to improve our connection and effectiveness with others.

The self absorbed leader struggles with self-awareness and emotional intelligence because self-awareness is about how we are perceived by others. It's about understanding how our behaviors are affecting other people. And we just can't do that by focusing on ourselves.

It is easy for us to focus on ourselves—to think people just don't understand us. And when we do, we tend to rationalize rather than grow. Explain rather than listen. Disconnect rather than lead.

Self important leaders can't see how they are sabotaging themselves because they focus on their needs and feelings and not those of their followers. Consequently, they don't encourage feedback because it never seems relevant to them. An inward focus dooms us to operate from a place of weakness—never able to see what is holding us back.

It is in the character of great leaders to have a great appetite for feedback. It's a gift and still the best way to gain an awareness of ourselves. You might think of it as a personal scorecard.

To see where we need to grow, we need to see how we affect other people. Only then can we begin the introspection that will lead us to a deeper understanding of ourselves and learn to move past unproductive thinking and develop new behaviors.

More: The First Step in Self-Awareness Isn’t You - Redux

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Of Related Interest:
  12 Keys to Greater Self-Awareness
  Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/the_first_step_in_selfawarenes.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/the_first_step_in_selfawarenes.html Personal Development Fri, 10 May 2013 18:52:45 -0800 How to Make Your Ideas Contagious MarketingAs leaders we need to understand how to make our ideas catch on. This is most effectively done through word of mouth and social influence. It's more persuasive than advertising and is more targeted to an interested audience.

Jonah Berger shares the science behind word of mouth in Contagious and even teaches a class at The Wharton School by the same name.

Interestingly, most people think that most word of mouth happens online. But research finds that only 7 percent of word of mouth happens online. "Offline discussions are more prevalent, and potentially even more impactful, than online ones.

Berger presents many examples of contagious ideas that seem clever in hindsight. And we can learn from these. From these examples and his own research, he has assembled six principles or STEPPS for making products, ideas, and behaviors more likely to become popular:

Social Currency: We share things that make us look good. Find the inner remarkablility that makes people feel like insiders. Give people ways to achieve and provide visible symbols of status that they can show to others.

Triggers: How do we remind people to talk about our products and ideas? People talk about what comes to mind. Top of mind leads to tip of tongue. There is immediate and ongoing word of mouth. Movies benefit from immediate word of mouth, but many ideas and initiatives benefit from ongoing word of mouth. What keeps people talking? Triggers. Think context. Think about whether the message will be triggered by the everyday environments of the target audience. "A strong trigger can be much more effective than a catchy slogan."

Emotion: When we care, we share. Naturally contagious content usually evokes some sort of emotion. Not all emotions are equal. Awe is good. Sad is not. High-arousal emotions—awe, funny, anger, anxiety—are shared more than low-arousal emotions like contentment and sadness.

Public: Built to show, built to grow. Making things more observable makes them easier to imitate; products and ideas that advertise themselves.

Practical Value: Products and ideas we can use. Highlight the value and package our knowledge and expertise so that people can easily pass it on.

Stories: People don't just share information, they tell stories. Information travels under the guise of what seems like idle chatter. Embed your products and ideas in stories that people want to tell.

The more of these principles you use the better, but not all are required to make your idea contagious.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/how_to_make_your_ideas_contagi.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/how_to_make_your_ideas_contagi.html Marketing Wed, 08 May 2013 23:49:27 -0800 11 Ground Rules that Leaders Ought to Know LeadershipPhillip Van Hooser has condensed his leadership experience down to 11 ground rules that Leaders Ought to Know.

Van Hooser begins with the fact that leaders are made: Leadership is a choice, reinforced by individual effort. In his earlier days, he was moved by a comment that Deming wrote in Out of the Crisis:
Long-term commitment to new learning and new philosophy is required of any management that seeks transformation. The timid and the fainthearted, and the people that expect quick results, are doomed to disappointment.
His choice to be a leader has proven to be his most important professional decision. And it could be yours too. But as Deming noted it takes deliberate work and is not a quick transformation. It is the choice to make the effort that makes a leader.

The choice can be made by anyone anywhere because leadership is not a title. It is, as he states in ground rule 2, the ability to offer service and the willingness to take action—especially on those things we already know we should be doing, but aren't.

He continues with ground rules on earning respect, integrity, motivation, preventive leadership, courage, leadership pitfalls, and some good commonsense.

Ground Rule 3: Leaders cannot function in a vacuum; Leadership requires willing and able followers.
Ground Rule 4: Leaders don't plan to be disrespected; Leaders practice universal principles than earn respect.
Ground Rule 5: Leaders don't play loose with the truth; Leaders lead from a position of unquestioned honesty.
Ground Rule 6: Leaders don't motivate followers; Leaders search for the wants and needs that motivate followers.
Ground Rule 7: Leaders can't predict followers' behavior; Leaders need to know why people do what they do.
Ground Rule 8: Leaders don't overreact to problems; Leaders prevent problems before they materialize.
Ground Rule 9: Leaders aren't fearless; Leaders face their fears courageously.
Ground Rule 10: Leaders' wounds shouldn't be self-inflicted; Leaders flourish when serious errors of judgment are avoided.
Ground Rule 11: Leaders don't always need to plow new ground; Leaders can watch, listen, and learn from the success of others.

Van Hooser on keeping your distance: You can be a supervisor or manager without getting close to your followers; however, you cannot be a leader unless you get close to your followers.

Van Hooser was given this advice on parenting: "You may not always be able to predict what your child will do, or say, or think. But you're the father; your child must always be able to predict with certainty what you will do, or say, or think. That way, he can adapt and adjust his behavior to yours." He relates it to leadership: A leader's consistency provides a predictive foundation from which followers can begin to think, decide, and act. If a leader does not establish that foundation, he or she—albeit unintentionally—creates confusion, uncertainty, and potentially chaos in the followers' minds.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/11_ground_rules_that_leaders_o.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/11_ground_rules_that_leaders_o.html Leadership Development Tue, 07 May 2013 20:21:36 -0800 How to Make Better Decisions Decisive.

"A remarkable aspect of your mental life," says Daniel Kahneman, "is that you are rarely stumped." We have opinions about nearly everything and are quick to jump to conclusions based only on the information that is right in front of us. We often just go with our gut. And that hasn't always served us well.

Bad Decision
• An estimated 61,535 tattoos were reversed in the United States in 2009.

• Forty-one percent of first marriages end in divorce.

• Forty-four percent of lawyers would not recommend a career in law to young people.

• Eighty-three percent of corporate mergers and acquisitions fail to create any value for shareholders.

The Heath brothers have identified “four villains” when it comes to making decisions:
  1. Narrow Framing. We tend to define our choices too narrowly and see them in binary terms. We miss other options.

  2. Confirmation Bias. We develop a quick belief about a situation and then seek out information that confirms our belief. When we want something to be true, we look for reasons to justify it.

  3. Short-Term Emotion. Our emotions paralyze our decisions. We think we're working it out, when all we have really done is kick up "so much dust that we can't see the way forward."

  4. Overconfidence. We think we know more than we actually do. The problem is that we don't know what we don't know. "The future has an uncanny ability to surprise. We can't shine a spotlight on areas when we don't know they exist."

What can we do? We can counteract our tendencies with these four strategies the authors call the WRAP Process from the first letter of each step:
  1. Widen Our Options. As it turns out, most of the "decisions" we make do not involve any real choice. They are whether-or-not, yes-no decisions. We do not even consider other choices. Like a teenager, we "get stuck thinking about questions like 'Should I go to the party or not?' The party is in their mental spotlight, assessed in isolation, while the other options go unexplored. A more enlightened teen might let the spotlight roam: 'Should I go to the party all night, or go to the movies with a few friends, or attend the basketball game and then drop by the party for a few minutes?'"

    We would benefit by even adding one more option to our "decision." Consider opportunity costs. ("If I do this, then I can't do that?") Or the Vanishing Options Test: If you cannot choose any of the current options you're considering, what else could you do? And consider asking others who have "been there done that."

  2. Reality-Test Our Assumptions. Encourage constructive disagreement. Consider the opposite. Consider the "outside view"—the averages. If possible, run small experiments to test our theories.

  3. Attain Distance Before Deciding. Try the 10/10/10 analysis: How will you feel about your decision 10 minutes from now? How about 10 months? How about 10 years? Also, identify and stick to your core priorities. Perhaps the most powerful question for resolving a personal decisions is, "What would I tell my best friend to do in this situation?"

  4. Prepare to Be Wrong. We have to stretch our sense of what the future will bring—both good and bad. Think about the extremes. The future is not a "point"—a single scenario that we must predict. It's a range. Set a tripwire: "We will act when…" a predetermined set point occurs.
Making better decisions is a choice. This process will help us to make better choices.

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Leadership
As you might expect from the Heath brothers, Decisive is both informative and fun and well worth the investment. It would be a great book to get your teens to read as well. There will always be bad decisions, but with the four-step process we can improve our odds and have greater peace of mind. "You can quit asking, 'What am I missing?' You can stop the cycle of agonizing."

(By the way, if you ever get a chance to see Chip (and Dan) Heath live, do it. The presentation is very well done.)

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/how_to_make_better_decisions.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/how_to_make_better_decisions.html Fri, 03 May 2013 00:09:02 -0800 First Look: Leadership Books for May 2013 May.

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  The Clarity Principle: How Great Leaders Make the Most Important Decision in Business (and What Happens When They Don't) by Chatham Sullivan
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Ten Virtues What You're Really Meant to Do Change Intelligence The Clarity Principle The Three Rules

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“You cannot open a book without learning something.”
— Confucius


]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/first_look_leadership_books_fo_50.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/05/first_look_leadership_books_fo_50.html Books Wed, 01 May 2013 01:01:08 -0800 LeadershipNow 140: April 2013 Compilation twitter
twitter Here are a selection of tweets from April 2013 that you might have missed:
See more on twitter Twitter.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/leadershipnow_140_april_2013_c.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/leadershipnow_140_april_2013_c.html LeadershipNow 140 Tue, 30 Apr 2013 15:47:49 -0800 Are You a Giver or a Taker? LeadershipResearch shows that givers sink to the bottom of the success ladder. Givers may make others better off, but they do so at their own expense.

But here's the thing, givers also land at the top of the ladder with takers and matchers in the middle. Adam Grant explores in Give and Take, what separates givers at the bottom and top. And the difference is not competence, but the kinds of strategies givers use and the choices they make.

Grant notes that in "purely zero-sum situations and win-lose interactions, giving rarely pays off…. But most of life isn't zero-sum."

The giver advantage is often hard to see in the short term because the "giver advantage grows over time." Chip Conley, founder of Joie de Vivre Hotels, explains, "Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it's valuable in a marathon."

The Strength of Weak Ties

Givers connect with the people they know casually--their acquaintances. Although it is harder to ask them for help, they are the faster route to new leads and ideas. "The dormant ties provided more novel information than the current contacts. Over the past few years, while they were out of touch, they had been exposed to new ideas and perspectives."

The Five-Minute Favor: "You should be willing to do something that will take you five minutes or less for anybody."

Givers create a ripple effect around themselves. "Giving, especially when it's distinctive and consistent, establishes a pattern that shifts other people's reciprocity styles within a group." Givers take on the tasks that are in the best interests of the group.

Developing Others

As leaders, givers don't look for talent first, they focus on motivation. "Because they tend to be trusting and optimistic about other people's intentions, in their roles as leaders, managers, and mentors, givers are inclined to see the potential in everyone."

Takers have a general distrust of others. "Even when takers are impressed by another person's capabilities or motivation, they're more likely to see this person as a threat, which means they're less willing to support and develop him or her." Takers desire to be the smartest person in the room.

"The matcher's mistake lies in waiting for signs of high potential. Since matchers tend to play it safe, they often wait to offer support until they've seen evidence of promise."

Otherish Givers

Givers that end up on top are otherish. "Being otherish means being willing to give more than you receive, but still keeping your own interests in sight, using them as a guide for choosing when, where, how, and to whom you give." Giving energizes and is meaningful when it is done out of choice rather than duty or obligation—and otherish givers give more than totally selfless givers.

To avoid being taken, it is important to distinguish between givers and takers and those that pretend to be givers. Givers become matchers when they are dealing with takers.

Grant provides a lot of fresh examples—people from all walks of life. What he finds most magnetic about successful givers: "they get to the top without cutting others down, finding ways of expanding the pie that benefits themselves and the people around them. Whereas success is zero-sum in a group of takers, in groups of givers, it may be true that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts."

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Every time we interact with another person at work, we have a choice to make: do we try to claim as much value as we can, or contribute value without worrying about what we receive in return? In the workplace, says Adam Grant, givers are a relatively rare breed.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/are_you_a_giver_or_a_taker.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/are_you_a_giver_or_a_taker.html Mon, 29 Apr 2013 21:10:34 -0800 Learning the Wrong Lesson wrong lessonInjustices happen.

Bad things happen to good people.

And when they do, we need to be sure we are taking away the right lesson. When something bad happens we naturally prefer to process the injustice in a way that makes us coming out as the victim; we are right, they are wrong. Sympathy is in our corner.

But, if we are honest with ourselves, rarely do we find ourselves in a situation where we played no part. And if we have the courage to step back, we can see where we contributed to the perceived injustice.

In What You're Really Meant to Do, Robert Kaplan tells the story of a television producer that got passed over for a promotion. Initially, he took the easy way out. He chose to frame it as a "political" issue. "The people who get the jobs are the ones with the connections. All this talk about being a team player and helping others sounds nice, but it's not how people get ahead." This is the wrong lesson. Worse still is the fact that this thinking taints all of your thinking and behavior from this point forward and contributes to further "injustices" down the road. You undermine your "ability to exhibit character and leadership traits" that could help your career, says Kaplan. With this narrative in your head, you fail to do the things you should and when things don't go well for you, you create a self-fulfilling prophecy that further degrades your attitude and performance. At that point, everything you do is operating from a place of weakness and not your strengths.

He adds, the producer "found it easier to stew about the unfairness of it rather than take the more uncomfortable path of figuring out how he needed to improve." We all typically do this but we can't leave it there. Kaplan wisely counsels:
I urge people who have suffered a trauma that they experience as an injustice to take time out to process it. You need to reflect on what just happened, seek advice from others who witnessed it, and figure out whether you played a role in what happened…. Learning the wrong lesson, or failing to learn at all, may doom you to repeat some version of the same experience.
When you have been wronged, slow down long enough to learn the right lesson.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/learning_the_wrong_lesson.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/learning_the_wrong_lesson.html Personal Development Fri, 26 Apr 2013 13:19:15 -0800 Reinventing You – Becoming the Person You Were Meant to Be LeadershipIt’s not uncommon to think of personal reinvention as being somewhat contrived or manipulative. But reinventing you isn’t about becoming what you are not, but more of who you are. In Reinventing You, Dorie Clark says “it’s about taking control of your life and living strategically. Who do you want to be? And what do you need to get there?” It’s about making sure that our personal brands reflect the reality of our lives (Facebook notwithstanding).

KNOW YOURSELF

Clark takes you through the whole process, beginning with, of course, starting where you are. This is a vital step and not to be glossed over because many of us don’t know where we are starting. We need you understand our reputation and why it is what it is. She offers ways to do this, questions to ask and how to conduct your own 360 interview—determining what those around you think about you. Very valuable material.

Next you need to research your next move or future destination and test drive it. (Did you know that there is a company that allows you to test-drive over 125 new careers to see if they are a fit?)

Once you have determined where you need to be, it is important to develop the skills you need. Clark explains how to do this and when to go back to school and when not to, and finding a mentor (someone who embodies what you’d like to develop and the person you’d like to become).

LEVERAGE YOUR POINTS OF DIFFERENCE

Rebranding yourself publicly means understanding first, what is unique about you. It may not be what you think. Often it's the mindsets and thinking that proved valuable in your current situation may differentiate you in a completely unrelated field. The examples of people that Clark provides, who have done just that, are very helpful in getting you to see your unique contribution.

From that you can build your narrative that pulls together the underlying themes that connect your professional experiences in a way that is obvious to others.

THE GAP

There is a time lag–a gap–between fully inhabiting the “old you” and the “new you.” Clark writes that the “hardest part of making a transition can be bridging the gap between how others used to perceive you (and how you perceive yourself) and how you’d like to be seen moving forward.” She say the only solution is to fake it till you make it.

I’m sure that we have all experienced this dynamic when making any personal change. When no one readily accepts the nice person you have finally become, it’s easy to give it up and resort to the old habits of behavior. The answer is to keep projecting the new behavior until you’re comfortable with it and others begin to accept it as the new “normal.” Your commitment to the new you will eventually win people over.

Clark adds, “You need to be hyperaware of what you’re doing and make sure you’re signaling explicitly to the outside world what you’re trying to build.” This is where doing the homework in step one—know yourself—will help you to have the fortitude to press on.

Clark explains how to get the word out and how to prove your worth. She reminds us that rebranding is a process and not a one-time activity. It is important to “keep monitoring your reputation to ensure you’re being perceived by others the way you’d like.” This is a well done and thoughtful book that is valuable not just for rebranding yourself but also for managing your reputation in general.

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Reputation management is not as straight-forward as it once was. The behavior is the same, the tools are different. In addition, says Dorie Clark, it’s almost certain that at some point you’ll need to reinvent yourself professionally—and ensure that others recognize the powerful contribution you can make.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/reinventing_you_becoming_the_p.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/reinventing_you_becoming_the_p.html Thu, 18 Apr 2013 16:28:14 -0800 Nice Companies Finish First LeadershipWhen you have the power usually associated with leadership, it's easy to begin thinking that you can do anything you want. You can treat people any way you want. Sometimes it works in the short term, but it never works in the long term. It's self-centered and it eventually kills your influence. It's the core message of Nice Companies Finish First by Peter Shankman: "Being a selfish bastard who doesn't believe the rules apply to you simply won't get you very far."

Shankman cites a study where 700 people from a variety of industries reported on the treatment they received from their managers:

31% reported that their supervisor gave them the "silent treatment" during the year.
37% said that their supervisor failed to give credit when due.
39% noted that their supervisor didn't keep promises.
27% reported that their supervisor spoke negatively about them behind their back.

And it goes on. Not surprisingly, this kind of abusive behavior results in a work force that "experienced more exhaustion, job tension, nervousness, depressed mood and mistrust."

Shankman says your manager might be a jerk if they: are a know-it-all dictator, are uninterested in feedback, take sides unfairly and openly, are wasteful of resources, are a Desert Island boss (non-existent), a builder of empires, are a talker and not a doer, think adversaries work better than teams, or are in a constant cycle of crisis.

The Nine "Nice" Characteristics

Shankman then identifies nine "nice" characteristics that will eradicate "jerk" behavior beginning with "enlightened self-interest" since it underpins all of the others. A leader with enlightened self-interest will think in terms of the transactional benefits of everything they do. To be sure there are times when a leader must make unpopular decisions, but, says Shankman, "you can make beneficial decisions and lead your company to greatness without resorting to third-grade schoolyard tactics."

An enlightened leader is accountable, invests in others, consults with those affected by decisions, seeks counsel, expects the truth, reacts mindfully and positively to any situation.

The other traits he describes are:

Accessibility (Inaccessible, aloof CEOs can run successful businesses for a while, but in the long run, they make bad leaders.),

Strategic Listening (leadership is "a lot less about convincing people and more about benefiting from complex information and getting the best out of the people you work with. Listening for comprehension helps get you that information, of course, but it's more than that; it's also the greatest sign of respect you can give someone."),

Good Stewardship (Good stewardship is about responsible management and ethical standards that are in sync with the concerns of all of the constituents who are important to your business, including shareholders, stakeholders, investors, neighbors, and communities.),

Loyalty (360 Loyalty–loyal to what works for the whole company and for all good employees.),

Glass-Half Full POV (Seeing the difference between "Everything's OK!" and "Everything will be OK if we do the following things."),

Customer Service-Centric ("Makes it easy for people to become and stay customers in every way possible." Serving first selling second.),

Merit-Based Competitor (Compete by differentiation. It's OK to be nice to your competition. Kill them with kindness.), and

Gives a Damn ("Turning down the easy buck to instead do the right thing is one of the hardest choices we have to make.").

You can't fake being nice. "As communication becomes more fluid, leaders will be more exposed. We won't be able to hide anything anymore."

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Quote 
There's no way to institutionalize or "corporatize" niceness–it comes from the top person and permeates the place. And it is the most cost effective way to promote what you do.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/nice_companies_finish_first.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/nice_companies_finish_first.html Mon, 15 Apr 2013 00:14:56 -0800 Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher Dies Today at 87 Margaret Thatcher Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, the first and the only woman to become British prime minister, died today at the age of 87 from a stroke. Thatcher served from 1975 to 1990 as leader of the Conservative Party. She was called the "Iron Lady" for her personal and political toughness.

Thatcher was proud of her modest background and was known as a grocer's daughter. She studied chemistry at Oxford and may have even helped invent soft-serve ice cream where she worked as a research chemist after graduation. She was involved in politics from a young age, giving her first political speech at 20.

David Cameron, the Prime Minister, said: “We've lost a great prime minister, a great leader, a great Briton. She didn't just lead our country, she saved our country, and I believe she'll go down as the greatest British peacetime prime minister.”

The Republican minority leader in the Senate, Mitch McConnell, called Lady Thatcher a great ally who “never hesitated to remind Americans of their own obligations to the cause of freedom and of the need for political courage and confidence in the face of long odds.” The speaker of the House of Representatives, John Boehner, remembered the former prime minister as a “grocer’s daughter” who “stared down elites, union bosses, and communists to win three consecutive elections, establish conservative principles in Western Europe, and bring down the Iron Curtain.”

On Power
“Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.”

On Convictions
"I am not a consensus politician. I'm a conviction politician."

“Consensus: “The process of abandoning all beliefs, principles, values, and policies in search of something in which no one believes, but to which no one objects; the process of avoiding the very issues that have to be solved, merely because you cannot get agreement on the way ahead. What great cause would have been fought and won under the banner: ‘I stand for consensus?”

"If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time and you would achieve nothing."

On Society
"There is no such thing as society. There are individual men and women and there are families.''

“It used to be about trying to do something. Now it's about trying to be someone.”

“Do you know that one of the great problems of our age is that we are governed by people who care more about feelings than they do about thoughts and ideas.”

On Character
“Watch your thoughts for they become words.
Watch your words for they become actions.
Watch your actions for they become habits.
Watch your habits for they become your character.
And watch your character for it becomes your destiny.
What we think, we become.
My father always said that... and I think I am fine.”

On Work Ethic
“Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end. It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing; it's a day you've had everything to do and you've done it.”

“I do not know anyone who has gotten to the top without hard work. That is the recipe. It will not always get you to the top, but it will get you pretty near.”

On Perseverance
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”

On Patience
“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my own way in the end.”

On Leadership
“Don't follow the crowd, let the crowd follow you.”

Thatcher 2013

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/former_british_prime_minister.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/former_british_prime_minister.html Leaders Mon, 08 Apr 2013 22:52:12 -0800 4 Reasons We Struggle with Ethics who we are. Ethics is not so much about what is happening around us, it’s much more about what is going on inside of us. Understanding the difference is critical to being a person with good ethics. Ethics are not concerned about what we can do, but what we should do. Ethics align us to our purpose and our values no matter what is happening around us.

Ethics
Ethics are about how we will measure our life. Our choices are taking us somewhere. The question is, “Where do we want to end up and what kind of person do we want to be when we get there?”

Our ethics can be compromised for the following reasons:

We want to win. The pressure to deliver results now causes us to make decisions to get us what we want now but ones that will eventually take us to the wrong place. Compromises are everywhere. We are one decision away from compromise. Ethics come in to play when the right decision for the long term doesn’t make sense for the short-term. Actions based on long-term values may not give us the same sense of achievement as short-term based actions, but they takes us to two different places. If the right decision means losing in the short-term, the question then becomes, “How important is winning?”

We think our situation is different. We’re the exception. But if what is right is dependent on our situation, then nothing is right. To be right, right must be applicable to all people across all situations. Sometimes we think we can avoid the consequences if our intentions are good. But the reality is we can’t avoid the consequences. Every choice has a consequence.

We look for shortcuts. Shortcuts are duplicitous. They involve compromise and they cost us far more than they save us. Shortcuts are often doing the right thing at the wrong time. It’s the easy route. A shortcut is simply finding the path of least resistance. Shortcuts are simply a way to avoid the price of admission. Good things take time. We just get tired of waiting. When we look back on the decisions we have made in our life where in an effort to hurry things along, we can see where we compromised our character—our ethics. Looking back we can see that we paid a higher price than if we had stayed the course. If getting there quicker—the what—is more important than how we get there, then we will compromise our ethics.

We think ethics is about rules. Laws can be demanded of people but ethics can’t. Rules are reactive. Ethics is proactive. Rules are about maintaining. Ethics is about leadership. Rules can only go so far. You can’t lead on rules alone. Rules can only regulate certain behaviors, but to grow you need to lead with ethics. Leading with ethics means to lead within a framework defined by how not what.

Ethics provide a framework in which to make right choices—a framework in which to lead. They provide the how for our what.

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Of Related Interest:
  You Can Be Legal and Still Be Wrong
  Ethics: Reinforcing Fixed Points
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Like us on Facebook for additional leadership and personal development ideas.]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/4_reasons_we_struggle_with_eth.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/4_reasons_we_struggle_with_eth.html Ethics Wed, 03 Apr 2013 23:06:16 -0800 First Look: Leadership Books for March 2013 March.

  Fear Your Strengths: What You Are Best at Could Be Your Biggest Problem by Robert E. Kaplan and Robert B. Kaiser
  Reinventing You: Define Your Brand, Imagine Your Future by Dorie Clark
  The Leader's Code: Mission, Character, Service, and Getting the Job Done by Donovan Campbell
  The Athena Doctrine: How Women (and the Men Who Think Like Them) Will Rule the Future by John Gerzema and Michael D Antonio
  Intelligent Leadership: What You Need to Know to Unlock Your Full Potential by John Mattone

Fear Your Strengths Reinventing You Leaders Code Athena Doctrine Decisive

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/first_look_leadership_books_fo_49.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/04/first_look_leadership_books_fo_49.html Books Mon, 01 Apr 2013 07:09:52 -0800 LeadershipNow 140: March 2013 Compilation twitter
twitter Here are a selection of tweets from March 2013 that you might have missed:
See more on twitter Twitter.

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]]> http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/03/leadershipnow_140_march_2013_c.html http://www.leadershipnow.com/leadingblog/2013/03/leadershipnow_140_march_2013_c.html LeadershipNow 140 Sun, 31 Mar 2013 15:36:07 -0800